Suddenly, I long to use a bandanna to secure my hair before playing a spirited game of kickball with my bunkmates (rather than using one as a makeshift mask before engaging with the outside world). But he’s the closest and dearest man I’ve ever known. He’s in his 30’s still has some behavior problems. I don’t think there is anything we wouldn’t do for each other. This is just my story, he isn’t my blood son.
I don’t know what you’ve tried and there is no way in hell I judge you for it. Prayer, meditation, seeing a shrink, pulling your hair out, calling the cops…been there, myself with his mom. When they are older they remember stuff we forgot….or want to forget. I don’t know the answer, but I know in part you gotta love them even when they’re unlovable. Even though he can still be a monster sometimes, his wife calls me and asks for my help every so often. We text a lot and when he comes to visit with his girlfriend every couple of months for a few days, we usually shed a few tears when he leaves. I haven’t seen his mom in years, but he’s my best and closest friend. But 20 years later… he’s not perfect, I’m not either. No easy answers and they’re all a little different as well as circumstances. And then the next day he would be a monster again. It’s really just building a relationship. No judgment, no bringing up what happened last week just talking and running to the Garbage Truck Toy Christmas Trash Trucks shirt but in fact I love this store for things together. But every so often when he was being kind and receptive we would talk.
Being imperfect myself I didn’t want to come off like I was judging him or I had it all together myself, I didn’t. Although I tried everything I could think of, tough love didn’t work, I loved him too much to go that route and for us, it wasn’t working.
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